Saturday, October 2, 2010

Hurry up already

DS2 goes back to school tomorrow. I can say that the last 3 days have been very quiet - in the good way of quiet. Apparently it takes five days for him to wash off the school attitude and realize he's back home. It's not as though he's totally hanging out with us...but he's calm and more relaxed and most importantly...

He's just being here.

We (he and I) get to get up at 4am and drive to the airport. I know he's happy to be returning, but I don't believe that equates that he's happy to be leaving us. I just think that maybe he's happy in both places. I asked him if he could maybe try to take only four days next time - at Christmas - that he comes home. He's home for a couple of weeks that time and it would be lovely to have most of those days be calm and wonderful ones.

I'll miss him. When he's gone we don't have a lot of contact - not by our choice. He settles in there and we don't get emails or phone calls...he doesn't always answer when we call. So, I will miss him. I worry about him.

DD didn't get kicked off the team. They are counting it as strike one and more thing - even a little one - and she's off the team. We decided to leave her be and perhaps pay a price we can't charge her. Everyone at the gym knows she did it. Rumors start and circulate - but this one is true. I doubt that the other girls will find it cute. She's been on suspension this week. She has sat at practice, but not taken part. Tomorrow is her first day back in the trenches. It will be socially difficult. I know it will. DH doesn't think she'll notice. She's not exactly socially adept.

I hope she notices. And, sadly, I hope it hurts her.

Maybe peer pressure can do more than we can on this front. I have to get past my embarrassment. Yep, it's terrible to be the parent of the kid committing crimes. I know that I'll have social reprecussions at the gym as well. I don't want to walk in waving the 'she's adopted and her birth family taught her to steal...she had to steal to eat and live...please, give me a break...I didn't do this to her' flag. But, I'm tempted. tempted. And, I might be weak because I can't think of what the right response would be.

Something very thoughtful like "My daughter made a terrible mistake and has paid the consequences asked of her. She will be working hard to change this behavior in the future."

That's scary. What if she doesn't change the behavior? What if she steals there again?

Then I look at DS1. Liar, liar, pants on fire...yes, he lies too. And, I raised him from birth. Apparently, all kids I've been told. I really didn't. I stink at lying. I stunk at it when I was young and I stink more now. Plus, the guilt. Oh how I hate knowing I lied.

Why can't my kids learn from my good points and ignore my bad points (which are so numerous, but at the top would be impatience). Come on...(quickly please!)

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