Monday, November 16, 2009

She cut it off

My daugher cut her hair last night. You know the cute stories about a 3 year old getting gum in his/her hair and giving themselves a haircut - well, this is NOT one of those stories. She is 10.5...closer to 11 than 10. In the world that most people live in...a child that age knows better. There are a million facets to this story...just a few:
*Three days ago she was twirling her hair around a comb and I pointed out that the comb could easily get stuck in her hair and she should stop.
*Yesterday she lost 'time' for all kinds of things and therefore went to bed early...apparently not actually to bed...
*She snuck out of her room and got the scissors (that I've been remembering to hide until last night) and did this deed - AFTER getting that exact comb wrapped and stuck in her hair.
*She left the scissors in the middle of the hall and when no one 'found' them...she came out and pointed them out to DH...(that's a story for different day)
*She shoved all the hair she cut into the air vent in her room...wonder what else has gone down there
*AND drumroll please....she came down this morning and told me she had slept funny and that is why her hair looked that way

YES - 3 inch bald spot...another good 5 inch circle of craziness that sticks straight up. OMG.

I didn't do bad this morning with my reaction - but I wasn't spot on either. I cried...I thought I was alone. I cried because I'm sad for her...yet another reason to look weird to all the kids at school...yet another reason to be different...yet another way to take a jab at the people that love her. I, however, wasn't alone. She popped out and laughed at me for crying.

So, she's at school with all that insanity on her head. Her teacher was going to announce it at morning announcements - in order to take the power from her (and the story I'm sure she would tell would involve me screaming with scissors in my hand). This morning DS2 tells me (as we are gathering all scissors and sharp objects) that she held scissors pointed toward her stomach yesterday and said she was going to stab herself...and bleed.

So...we are left with few options. DH is buying a door alarm today on his lunch break - that's not something you hope to do anytime in life. We'll get her room alarmed before bed tonight. Her room is stripped down to bed with bedding and furniture...nothing else (oh, I left the clothes, but took out hard soled shoes). I've got a call in to the psych to find out more about the in-patient program he recommended and I've spent some time coming to terms with what all this means: for her, for us as a family...for her life. Try not to look too far ahead - what my therapist always tells me. Right now, it's tough to look to tomorrow...and hope that my DD has a lot of those.


  1. Wow, hell of story, hell of a life! If you really think about it you have done everything that a normal person could do in this situation.Do what you have to do for her even if it means she lives elsewhere for a while. You have the rest of your family to think about as well, 2 other children, a husband (a marriage that probably could use some damage control right about now). You are not a doctor, you cannot "fix" her and she needs 24 hour care(watching) at this point. This could actually help her and do wonders for your family. Put it in the hands of a higher power, what do you have to lose? Hard decisions for sure, let someone help you, you need it! The very best of luck!

  2. As you know, we had to put our DD in residential for awhile for similar behaviors - and we've had an alarm on her room for quite awhile. Not fun, but it became a necessity for the sake of sanity.

    The respite the rest of the family got from having her away for awhile was much needed. Sometimes all of you need a break - and inpatient can provide that.

  3. I'm sorry. We have an alarm on M's door. She doesn't even know what it is. At least I know my other kids and pets are safe while I sleep though.

  4. I can truly appreciate where you are right now and wish there was something I could do to help...but we have been fighting a similar battle, although hair isn't involved. So far.

    I was in your area this week, but unfortunately didn't have free time or a car to visit. Sounds like you had your hands full, anyway.