Tuesday, November 3, 2009

I could feel the hot flush in my face...I felt a little manic. I was talking fast and interupting and I knew it...but I couldn't stop. I wanted them to GET IT...I wanted them to FIX IT. I didn't want to leave without an answer - maybe even wrapped up with a bow. This was my visit to my children's psychiatrist yesterday.
Heck, I share our story with everyone and anyone who might remotely want to listen. But, I knew this mattered more. The meds they're on aren't working...in fact, maybe backfiring and I didn't want to go home and give those to them one more day. If we can't get it right, I just want to go back to before. I'll go back to pretending it's not RAD and they can go back to chaos. Not that they ever left that land.
They sorta got it. They won't make the diagnosis I'm expecting will be made someday - bipolar for DD. As a bipolar adult, I can see it...it's different than mine...but there, none-the-less. They won't name it. They admit it's probably true...but they can't really treat it. It's a frustrating process. Again. I just want to take her off everything and wait until they will. But, I was an untreated child and remember wanting desperately for someone to try to help me. So, I'm trying to help her.
Today I told DS2 that he was arguing with me a lot...and he argued back "NO - I'm NOT"...he didn't get the irony.


  1. Ah...I love the "Why are you shouting?" with the response (at the top of her lungs), "I'M NOT SHOUTING!" thing we get, too. Ironic? Yes. Pleasant? Nope. We get the same thing regarding arguing, too...

  2. So when you all go to therapy, does the dr talk to them privately or are you all together? Our therapist was doing everything with us together and out of the blue (with no warning to me!) told me it is just her and M now. What? What about me? How will I know what to expect? She met with her once so far without me and I have NO clue what went on and I have been suffering over a week from it now.