So, after The Great PEEDINI was exposed I decided that he hadn't earned sleeping in his room. Honestly, I needed to keep the door shut from the smell which has mutated:
Dirty litter box in a hot room....to
dirty litter box in a cold room (thanks to open windows during a snow storm)...to
musty damp carpet mixed with air freshner....to
crunchy carpet from too many cleanings and overwhelming clean linen smell from too many airwicks....to
the smell of defeat.
It will never be clean.
Anyway, I moved him to the basement. Basically to live there. I give him clothes when he needs them and he's allowed to go upstairs and use the shower each night...but he is NOT ALLOWED IN THAT ROOM. Otherwise known to him as the TOILET. Not even one step. Now that the door is open I've actually put an orange cone in the doorway - nothing like a visual reminder that you peed all over my home...and your clothes...and you laughed when I touched your urine soaked clothes. And, for the record that may be kept for eternity...
I now smell PEE EVERYWHERE I TURN. It's like a disease that soaked into my skin. I've showered like 400 times in 4 days.
So, the basement dweller is cared for. I'm not starving him and there is a toilet in the basement - which it seems is closer than the one upstairs because he's using it (or the smell from not using it is not strong yet since the basement is a much larger space). He's been sleeping well - which is not always true for him. I actually sat on the couch last night with DH and cried tears of relief, thinking that this could actually be an answer.
Maybe he's just been too tired to make good decisions.
Maybe the cool of the basement agrees with his perpetually hot body.
Maybe he is going to miraculously change from sleeping on a couch in the freakin' basement.
Or maybe I'm a sucker. Yep...that last one is the right one.
He's been staying up all night watching tv and playing video games. THAT is why he's been sleeping until 10am. I realized this at 2:45 am when I was up sick for the 40th time this season (can anyone say stress can cause numerous health issues...I'm stressed people) and it dawned on me. He will absolutely do the wrong thing at any point when not being watched. I've yet to be proven wrong there. So, I walked to the basement door and sure enough - tv was on at 2:45 am. I did not go down there. I like living outside prison walls and honestly knew that I could not speak logically without killing him.
This morning however he got a nice fun wake-up call at 7am...do you know that exhausted kids tell the truth on accident. I picked up the remote and said "what fun shows did you watch last night?" - he starting listing them and then POOF...realized what was happening and changed tunes. Back to liar, liar, pants on fire. Oh, he should have wished for pants on fire. In the ensuing time of becoming my worker bee for the day (that is the kindest thing I could think to do) he blabbed some stupid stuff. No, truly stupid stuff. Let's see:
I didn't do it to get in trouble. But, I got caught, and I knew that I would get in trouble if I got caught. I always get caught. (DUH)
I'll decide how bad I'll be today after I see how much you P&SS me off.
And the best one - in a free minute while I decided what needed to be done next...
"Hey mom, can I watch TV?"
Is this a joke?