I'm not sure I'm a good adoptive parent and what makes me angry is that there has to be differentiation. I read a incredibly moving post today at Grown in my Heart. It's by a woman that works in China at a foster home for special needs children. Her viewpoint is something that I've obviously never lived and the article is poignant and touching. You can find it here: http://www.growninmyheart.com/redemptive-response-to-tragedy
Then I felt an attack. I can't tell if I really felt 'attacked' or if it was internal. Am I really a failure parenting my children because I can't continuously live in a place of tragedy or redemption with them? Does it make me a bad mother because I just want there to be normal in our lives? Does living through their pain, neglect and trauma nominate me for an award in the adoptive parent category?
I really don't know...but I don't do it. Not every day...sure, it pops into my head quite often. I talk with them and try to relate the struggles we are having to the things that have happened. But, I don't come at every situation in the 'you are hurt so badly and I need to nurture your pain' standpoint. So...maybe I'm part of the problem - not the solution.
Boy, that would suck for all involved, huh?