"I don't respect you".
I've been told a lot of times that one or the other doesn't love me. In fact, I've been told I'm hated, horrible, disgusting, all the way up to I should simply go away and die. All very yuck - but I could handle it.
Today it came out "I don't respect you".
Respect is simply something I feel children give to those that have gone before them - those who know more...I know my kids do respect most adults - they are polite and helpful and fun to others and I guess I already knew this. I knew they didn't respect me - can you respect someone you hate? They've never acted respectful (unless they were angling for something)...but yet - the words hurt.
DS2 has a math test Friday. In the 10 nights of homework for this unit, he's gotten 4 problems right out of 48. This sounds mean - but I'm praying he actually fails the test. He asked me for help once - I really don't give it out much...it's a ploy. But, I was hoping (again) that he actually wanted help. About two minutes into me showing him how to do it, he said "can you just give me the answers so I can be done?" I said, that isn't very respectful and well...return to the top.
DD came home yesterday not feeling well. I was concerned it was a reaction to the tenex (which is still showing great signs of working)...I played it low key and just asked a few questions over the course of the evening. Finally right before bed she says "Well...I only started feeling like throwing up after the meatball sub at school. I don't think I should get that anymore." - I told her I thought that was a great connection - almost threw up myself (cafeteria meatball subs???) and sent her to bed not worrying about her medication issues!
She also called me out last night. I forgot that she owed me pay back time...I pointed out that she hadn't reminded me of it and she said "well, last time I reminded you, you thought I was bossing you around and you added more payback time". Ahhh...she is being honest - I do remember that day...and I remember acting inappropriately in my response. So, I apologized, cuddled in bed with her and told her that Mom is always 'right' but that doesn't mean I can't be wrong sometimes! How's that for confusion???
Maybe it wasn't very respectful...