Friday, February 25, 2011

Tech and me - not a match

Could I be any less of a techno person? I've started a new blog to go from here and made it private. I'm happy to invite anyone who has asked so far, but I *think* I need your email address? For those of you who are followers here, you would think I could just invite you that way - maybe I can??? So, please email me with your email - or tell me how to do it easier!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Restricting blog access

I'm going to begin to restrict blog access to protect my family from hatefulness. No, there hasn't been much on this site, but I'm ready to start opening up about where we are now - which is a new place. SO...if you'd like to continue to access my blog, please let me know by commenting on this post. I have to invite you by email, so if I don't have your email address - you can also email me with that info at At this time I may actually 'start' a new blog that will be different and by invite only and pick up our story.

I don't have to know you personally, but please do let me know a bit about you or how/where you found me.

Thanks! Sorry for the inconvenience, but really do want to tell the majority of you what is going on and have been too scared to do it in open forum.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Why do we cry?

I have not been very good at coming over here and posting lately. I think I'm trying to ignore so much of what's going on...and it's hard to write about it when you are ignoring it.

A few notes of late:
My grandmama is sick and not doing well overall. I'm going to head home to see her - because I absolutely cannot stand the feeling of being this far away. I feel so connected to her and while there are reasons, what I'm feeling now seems somewhat unreasonable. I cry a lot and randomly and she's still here. She hurts and I don't want her to. Anyway, soon I'll spend a few days with her - away from the rest of life and I'll always know I had that time.

DS1 and DD are both doing well. There is a calm here right now, but an underlying stress about DS2...always waiting for the other shoe to drop. We are working on solutions for the long term, but it's still hard to think beyond tomorrow. He's safe where he is and seems to be doing well there - although I did find out that he and some other boys broke into the school store last night. It doesn't sound major - but it also doesn't sound like great progress from the things he's done before. I'm just not sure there is some fabulous answer that solves every issue.

I feel as though I'm grieving him's hard to look at pictures and some of those tears I'm shedding are for him or from him or over him...all mixed up.