We've made a decision and we are totally secure with it. DS2 is attending a boarding school for summer school/camp with the plan of attending his next year of school there. I have to say my heart is not heavy, because I feel that we were sent this opportunity by a higher force. The way we found it and the way it's working out are amazing.
DS2 is on board completely. This is not a shock as he's been asking to leave, but I believe he felt that leaving would be permanent. He seemed surprised that we would have him back during breaks. We really worked the fact in, over and over, that we are forever. We will always be here and he is wanted. I hope that he'll continue to learn this fact.
It may seem odd to many of you - to 'send your child away'...but there is a high cost to how we've been living for all of us. The mass chaos that is a constant in every day of our lives is unacceptable for all 5 of us. I saw relief on his face tonight. I saw relief on my husband's face when we realized it was all going to fall into place.
While I struggle enormously raising DS2...this is peace for me. Totally.
I know it's right.
I know that he'll succeed there. As I told the admissions people about him, I was glowing with pride for the things I believe he'll accomplish when he doesn't have to work on pushing away. I believe he'll feel safer without the constant eyes of a mom and dad (however there is strict supervision...but it's different for a RAD kid).
I believe.
And, I think he does too.
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'Doesn't seem odd to me at all as we also contemplated the same. We've been fortunate that a change of school and a change of meds have allowed us to step back from the residential/boarding idea and we're hopeful that we might not have to revisit it. That said, we are availing ourselves of summer camp opportunities that are sleepover for "the subject"...which she is ok with and supportive of.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you've found a way to support both your family and your son's needs. That's a good thing. Bravo!
J
Michelle, not odd at all, in fact I respect you for all the effort and research you have endured to parent your son. I read your blog and am amazed you have made it this far with DS2 still in the house. The relief your entire family (including DS2) must be feeling probably cannot be put into words at this point. This is your family and you have toughed it out for a very long time. Your commitment is commendable and you truly love this child deep down or you would have never gone to great lengths to find a solution that benefits all concerned. I applaud your efforts and just have a feeling that everything is going to be alright.
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