Friday, April 23, 2010

Collared shirts, bow ties and the bible

DS2 is intriging me in these past few days. He's blantantly, continually not following instructions...there is a lot of "I don't knows" and "I forgots". This morning he decided that brushing his teeth is optional and he ended up missing the bus. I had my phone interview with his soon-to-be school and therefore he had to do 'mom school' AKA workbooks, until I was available to drive him to school. It was snowing...hard...

I realize that he probably feels there is no reason to 'try' anymore - but really, things aren't any different as far as behavior than they've ever been for him. Except that he's accepting help from me...or planning...or something that resembles being a mother. It's odd and feels good.

He studied Houdini for his famous person report. While out tonight I got him a bow tie to wear for his presentation (you know those fun things where they are supposed to dress up like their person)...I also got him a white collared shirt. While we were there, he and I looked at other collared shirts. He is required to have them for all chapel services on campus and he really doesn't have any. He went with me happily and we talked about colors of shirts and patterns...he was interacting with me. He even walked with me through the whole store and talked, answered, walked close enough that I could have touched him...I actually rubbed his back while we looked for balsamic vinegar and he didn't jump out of my reach. It was a bit like something 'normal'.

Last night he asked if we were going to get him a bible for school. I was raised penecostal and have about 40 I got him one down and he announced that he was going to read the whole bible before summer school starts. Cute. Not possible, but cute. I offered him a list of great bible stories and where they are in the good book...he's been carrying it around. Maybe he'll want to discuss it? can dream...

I told him that he and I would have a shopping day - just the two of us - to fulfill his school needs and he looked at me and smiled. Is it possible that he likes me a bit more now that he knows he's leaving me? Circular logic I suppose, but this is exactly how I hoped our last weeks would be. Having him as a son is nice.


  1. Deep down I think he has always wanted to do right & make you proud and be close to you..but just couldnt. Now that the presure is off and he thinks things may get better maybe its his way. maybe he is relieved he doesnt have to struggle so hard but in the end hurt you anyway. Just a thought...My daughter sometimes (as an adult)will say things like.. I wasnt very nice to you when I was younger or I bet you hated me sometimes.. no apology mind you. No emotion. But a awarness of the truth? I guess we will never know what goes through a child's head with RAD.All I know is I feel this is a new chance for all of you. Keeping you in my prayers.

  2. Maybe being apart will make your relationship with DS2 stronger. I've learned not to be surprised anymore about such things...