Yesterday I picked up a new couch for the office. Later that evening, DS2 came up to me and whispered "I like the new stuff in the office, it looks nice"...I whispered back "why are we whispering?" and he said:
"In case Dad didn't know you bought it, I'm keeping it on the down low."
It's not that I sneak around a lot buying things my hubby doesn't know about and I am certainly not good enough to be able to sneak in a couch. But, I have, in the past, purchased littler things that I didn't want drawn to his attention specifically. DS2 pointed out a few of those times. What really came out of this is that he was thinking of me - in some distorted, strange way. Then I realized that our world is often distorted and strange...so, he fit right in last night.
He's always been my 'decorating' buddy. He likes to look at things for the house and always has opinions. The artistic, creative parts of his brain really flow in that arena. I hope he pursues it, but I found when I would point out to him how good he was - he would tell me that only "gay guys" decorate and it would end in anger. I've learned to not tell him as much when I think he's great...but try to show it other ways.
So, when he told me he liked the furniture that we were keeping on the down low, I asked more questions. Why do you like it? What about it do you think looks good? As we chatted, I rubbed his back. It's the first time he's allowed me to touch him in months...beyond a good night hug. I didn't draw any attention to it and neither did he.
At DDs birthday dinner last night, he was creating as shopping list with me of things he wants to take to school. Word search books, his rubiks cube, a few new iTunes songs...just things that jump in his mind. I was again, rubbing his back (btw, he sat by me and did not complain) and I started to say "Hey, why don't you..."
and he broke in "make a list...I know you like lists, and I can see why. I'm always forgetting things and if I just wrote them down, I wouldn't forget. I'll make a list for our shopping trip. It's just you and me isn't it?" Yes - thank goodness - right now it is...just you and me.