I'm feeling better and not so whiny (ha...I'm always whiney on here)!
So, the doc is upping DD's dosage...still need to give it time, he says. I hope for all involved that something clicks soon. I know that finding the right med (or mix of meds) can take a LONG time and I sound like a real pain for wanting immediate answers...but, it's kinda falling apart here. She's being a total pill at school - and at home - holy crap! She pulled the whole "I'm doing great thing" with doc tonight and I called her on it. Really...this is a man who can maybe, just maybe help us all and you can't be honest. UUUGGGGHHHHH! So, I have to spill it - in front of her. I was nearly crying...I don't feel like I'm asking too much. I want my 9.5 year old DD to be able to live a 9.5 year old life. You know, laugh, run, play, get dirty, make friends, tell a story (one that makes some type of sense PLEASE)...I feel like she's a 70 year old with one foot in the grave. She worries so much. He said he's leaning toward an anxiety disorder with OCD. I can see that. We aren't living like a movie of the week or anything - she doesn't have to step on certain tiles...but I have, in fact, seen her count the tiles as she steps on them. Her pillows must be in a certain order on her bed. I always saw that as a nuture thing - I'm an anal freak and I thought "oh, she got that from me"...huh...maybe not.
Good news of sorts - DD started back in tumbling/cheer. We'd had her out for behavior and honestly, I wasn't enjoying her gym. We switched gyms and she started again - much smaller classes and littler gym...but I liked it very much. The instructor started out right away letting her really show her stuff...she's good. Very blessed. She got her back tuck while we were there - had been working on it for a year or so and just threw it. It was a very proud moment and I want her to have those. There are so many things to keep her down - she's need the good. Here's hoping she can continue to hold up her end of the bargain and earn the right to continue to go.
DS2 blew something today - he had earned a privilege back and blew it quickly. What a bummer! I so want him to succeed...I feel like he loses it on purpose - things are going too good and he freaks out. He just completed a model of our digestive system - try explaining to a 10 year old that a rectum is not his penis...yes, real conversation. Then in his 'explanation paragraph' - he said "the rectum is your butthole"...ummmmm...not too scientific. I tried to stay uninvolved and he really did all the work himself. We brainstormed some ideas of articles he could use to build it and I did the hot glue. It looks good and is quality work. It's a step!
DS1 got his first 'job'. He was brave and asked the retired couple across the street if they had a lawn guy for this summer. They did not and they hired him. He's making big bucks...in fact, I think they should pay him less - but as long as he takes the responsibility seriously and really follows through - it will be a great lesson. Of course, this means that DH will have a new job also...at least for a few weeks and the decision was made that DS1 will have to pay DH for his help - an employee of sorts!
We re-started allowance last week. I am not good at following through. This time I put it on their plates. They have to give me a reminder on Sunday and I promise to get them paid by Monday. It's a set amount simply for being a good, upstanding member of the family...but should you blow that - things can cost you. If I have to do your chores (because you didn't do them or did them poorly) - then I get paid. It's a lesson to learn early. My prediction: DS1 will never have money but will have plenty of Starbucks rolling around in his belly and lots of movie money for the summer, DS2 will have a lot of money - he's my saver, DD will have a lot of little stuff that breaks in a day or gets thrown in a box. Did I mention that she used her Christmas money to buy a toy that said for "3-18 months" - I pointed it out and she didn't care - got it home, played for 2 minutes and said "this is for babies"...oh vey!