Monday, March 23, 2009

looking a gift horse in the mouth

When you are in trouble and then your loving mother gives you a reprieve and you are out of trouble - do not stand up and question why you are not out of trouble. Take the gift and back away slowly with your hands in the air. Not really...but why does she need to question the times when I do nice things for her? To be honest - she wasn't even actually in trouble...but she decided to self-tattle again and I simply sent her to her room. She decided to do chores instead - I didn't argue that. So, she's cleaning baseboards and had been pretty quiet and devoted to her task and I thought I'd let her go play...bad weather is coming and this could be the last day of break to get out of the house. I say 'hey, thanks for the help - go back to free time' and she jumps up and says 'why, what did I do?'
DS1 has had a tough couple of days. I invited him to help with dinner the other night. Well, to back up - I called him to invite him to help with dinner. I am tired of yelling up the stairs and I called his cell which is always attached to him in some way...he answered with a very rude "what"? Should have simply hung up and moved on...but I pushed it. He came down to help and I was on that mommy crack that said 'this is a great time to get closer to him and have a nice chat'. I tried...but maybe started off with the wrong approach. I'm still figuring out the teen approach. It did not go well. He clammed up and when he did answer - it was rude. He called me a difficult parent (note: not bad, difficult...I see a political career)...why? I didn't let him go on Spring Break with a friend to a place where I knew no one and had never met the adults that would be in charge. So mean. Also, I MADE him play a card game with us. A card game that we play TOO often and he doesn't like it. It contined downhill...when I pointed out that he isn't the SUN, but the SON...and therefore the world does not revolve around him - he was upset and angry. Well, I decided to take his things away. I now have a cell phone, laptop and iPod - only partially used. I also unplugged the TV and took the remote. He has spent a couple of days paying the price to get these items back...but it may be a long haul. He got 30 minutes of TV today. The lovely thing is that since he's so bored and his friends are all gone for Spring Break - he's been playing with his siblings. Not just yelling at them and belittling them, but actually playing. He and DS2 had a whole world created in DS2's room before bed last night. We've played board and card games with no grumbles and they are all shooting hoops outside now - together...without fighting. (says the mom inside the house and probably conning herself)
As I type this (which has not been more than 3 minutes) DD has come in four times. Once to ask if she can blow up a balloon, once to ask if she can draw on the balloon with a sharpie, once to say the sharpie broke the balloon and once to say something that I'll never know because my daggery stare turned her around quickly.
I must say here and now that I am blessed in so many ways. My children are really mostly compliant creatures. We all sat down and read today - our own books - but in one place and none of them tried to get out of it. We went through every cabinet and cupboard in the house today to clean out for the upcoming garage sale and besides a few rolling eyes (whatever happened to the eye muscles on these poor kids) they moved things to a central location without much fight.
Here's the biggie: I took away the schedule. I can't believe it myself. I'm a regimented creature by nature and my kids seem to function better with knowing what is coming when...that said, I feel I'm creating this huge sense of dependance and I hate that. I want independent kids. I think kids should make decisions for themselves and get consequences when the make the wrong choice. So, I'm trying to step out...not completely mind you. They have to sign a 'plug in log' when they choose to use TV, computer or Xbox...that way I can track who is taking advantage. Have I mentioned that I HATE the Xbox. I see no good from it. They aren't learning anything and if it were up to me I would throw that thing off a cliff...and I don't because although I'm always a front runner, I don't actually want to win Worst Mother of the Year.
I bought Ferris Bueller's Day off to watch this week with the kids...I realize my dreams of them loving it as much as I do will be shattered and they'll stare at me like a freak when I get up and dance during the parade scene. Today, they were amazed that I know every word to Bohemian Rhapsody...
I am an amazing woman!


  1. I feel that this is what I have to look forward to!!! I don't know why the "terrible twos" get such a bad rap, there are a lot worse ages!!!! I ordered Little Shop of Horrors from Amazon as I took the kids to see it on stage the other week. I'm sure they will love it. Ben is so into really old movies & shows, it gives me hope when they still like the old stuff.....

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