Thursday, December 18, 2008

the background

I guess that most that will ever read this know they know our story. But, I'll get a little down just in case.

We adopted two children (DD - dear daughter and DS2 - dear son/youngest son) from Russia in November 2005. Things went smoothly (at least in my head) for a while...perhaps I always knew that a little something was off, but didn't admit it for a long time. Now, I'm forced to admit it. My kiddos have attachment disorder. It's not a fun thing to work through...but we have a great therapist and supportive friends and we WILL get through it, whatever that means for us. There are so many families dealing with this issue. We got the actual diagnosis about 6 months ago and honestly, what a relief! I just felt that I was doing everything wrong. Blessedly, we had been doing a lot of things right. We've always been structured and definitely not what you call coddling parents...that worked in our favor. Parenting these kiddos can make you feel crazy, because you look "mean" and "uncaring". People on the outside don't understand and constantly question. I will answer anything, but I won't cave in because what I'm doing doesn't fit the mainstream. I am healing my kids and it can be a full time job!

We also have DS1 (our oldest) and he is NOT attachment disordered, but is a typical pre-teen/teen...oy vey!

I wanted to blog now mostly for me...but I am sharing this with friends and family because I don't like feeling that I have a "secret" - this is our life. Good, bad and in-between! We are going to make it!!!

My title does not refer to doing over things like bringing my children home. I want a do-over to be smarter and more proactive in working with them...I want a do-over to be sure that I pay attention to my DH (dear husband) and DS1 and MYSELF...I want to do it over and not feel drained all the time...

So, my family is now open...

1 comment:

  1. I do feel crazy, and outsiders do think I am mean. Yup. Thank you for sharing.