Such strong sitters

At our house, for DS2 and DD there are really 3/4 consequences. This is the method you are to use with AD kids. They either have to do a chore, do physical exercise or strong sit. In strong sit they sit with their shoulder blades pulled sharply back, legs crossed and hands in their lap for the number of minutes of their age. It's basically like a time out except they are somewhere that they can see me and action of the house. We also do earlier bedtime - mostly for my sanity. There is so much control, even in strong sitting. DS2 will start wiggling the minute he thinks no one is looking while DD will move her hands continuously and doesn't care if I'm looking. Even though the time starts over...they don't seem to care. They feel they are controlling me and honestly, they sometimes are. My frustration seems to rise as my internal voice screams "SERIOUSLY, you can't just sit there for a few freakin' minutes...just ONE time". That internal voice of mine has a real fun time lately. I question myself about 700 times a day...am I really the best place for them, is my love growing, can I help them heal and still maintain my sanity? I guess these are the questions that I don't have answers for yet. If I could just have a crystal ball and see when this will end...a date to drive towards. But, coming to terms with the distinct possibility that it may not end - that's tough. I don't feel sad too often. I know that seems like a lie, but I really don't. I am sad for them sometimes though. I wonder if they'll ever have a loving relationship with a spouse/significant other. I wonder if they'll have children and if so, will they be able to love them unconditionally? Does AD override what most of us consider normal interactions in life? I'm still learning...but for now, what strong sitters I'm going to have (I'm going to win, I'm going to win...seems to be a mantra around here)!