Monday, January 26, 2009

pack the truck...

I'm moving on. Gotta - there just isn't another option, right? That is what everyone keeps telling me and I'm trying to tell that to myself. This weekend was pretty good - we are back where DS2 knows that he did something really stupid and he's being an angel to try to prove that he can. That's the thing - I already know he can make good choices and I just don't get why he makes such bad ones! I try to stand back and understand what others tell me. It's the way he has learned to react to excitement in his life - it's his inability to make good choices in the face of chaos or it's his need for chaos in general. I feel bad though - because I see such planning in his 'bad acts' .
I tried to think about things this weekend. Things I get upset if the kids do - but maybe, just maybe, I do them too on some scale. We moved all DS1's furniture this weekend in order to fit a desk in his room. For a house with so much square footage, the kid's rooms are smaller than I'd like...not enough room to be functional and stylish! Anyway, I was screwing around and I literally fell over and knocked into the closet doors so hard they came off their hinges. Yes, I was playing around when I did it. I could hear myself saying to a kid "see what you get for screwing around" and being upset that the doors were broken. I was upset that I broke them, but I didn't give myself a speech! I did use the whole moving to show DD that I can trust her - she got to PAINT. After I patched holes, I actually let her use NAVY BLUE paint with light colored carpet to touch up the patched areas. I held my breath the whole time, but only stepped in once (as she's dripping paint into her hand)! I don't know if she felt the gravity, but I did! Hey, the desk fits and now DS1 can't take up my whole dining room table with his 'big boy' homework! Yeah - moral victory for mom!
We were heading into a restaurant this weekend and DD was worrying about something - I don't even remember what. I said "oh geez, I don't want to hear this" and she said "Mom, I'm just a sensitive girl. Can't you let me be sensitive?". Really? I don't even know where she got that word! It was funny, but she felt she was being totally real. I don't know though, to me sensitive is worrying about others. That is not what DD does. She worries about every crazy thing that might happen to her. And only her! Ok, sometimes DS2...she does idolize him. Actually tells me that if she only had a wee-wee (of course, she uses the correct term) - she could be almost just like him. DD had a play date this weekend and they made "BFF" shirts. Big step for her to have someone call her that. I'm holding my breath since this girl is new and I'm not sure DD has had time to show herself - or maybe, just maybe she's really trying to keep this friend. Flush me down with those pipe dreams!
I let DS2 pick out some new clothes this weekend, he really is the hand-me-down boy and so getting new stuff can seem special to him. Especially when I let him pick (wow, strange style)...but I bought the winter stuff big, you know being thrifty - it MUST fit next year. I let him try to wear one of the shirts today and I watched him pulling at it and moving it around and I thought "oh no, does he have sensory integration disorder" - then I realized...I can't add that to my plate (or his plate) right now and just made him change until he found something that he wasn't pulling. For now, I'm blaming it on the shirt being too big...just let me live in that place for a few days!

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