Monday, January 19, 2009

security level is at red

You know those announcements in the airport - it's pretty much been at orange since it came into existense after 9/11. Well...they announce it all the time - when you're waiting you hear it over and over. So, I think I need that computer lady in my house. Each morning when my children wake up there should be an announcement "today DS1s security level is at yellow - proceed with slight caution" - "today DS2s level is at yellow - proceed with a sweet demeanor" - "today DDs security level is at red, very red, red hot - proceed with a fire extinquisher"

Not that I leave my room not knowing that is what awaits me...but I think hearing it in the movie phone lady voice would somehow make it more palatable!

Red hot DD is in constant state of flux right now - it's like I can see the anxiety and control eating little pieces of her right in front of me. It's really heartbreaking, but I'm too exhausted to even be heartbroken. There is an article in Adoptive Family magazine this month and the gentleman is an attachment specialist. He comments on the fact that sometimes a parent can build up the child's anxiety and fear by giving too many parameters. Basically if you don't let them explore life they live as fearful beings. This makes sense and also makes me want to puke. I am a totally independence preaching - non helicopter parent by nature. I can't be that with them. I want to be...I have tried lately to no longer let her ask about everything. She knows that she can take a shower early if she feels the need - but then it becomes the "everybody look at me show"...if she steps out and makes a decision on her own I think she wants a spotlight to shine brightly upon her and a Broadway sign to drop down with a big arrow pointing at her and saying "THIS GIRL JUST TOOK A SHOWER ALL BY HERSELF". Refer to above sentence about being exhausted.
So, it's a catch 22...if I give her a leash and let her try things out - the new issue is that she wants full and total attention for it. If I make her get permission for everything, I'm breeding fear.

Today the kids were home from school. She was playing out front on her own and came in about 5 minutes before lunch would be ready. She asked to go across the street to the park (yes, she does have to have permission to leave the yard...heck yes) and I said no. Before I could even get out that lunch was almost ready and she should wash up (the main reason I was saying no) - she stormed out and threw a little hissy fit. I didn't have it in me to follow her and reason with that. There is no reasoning with that. She was in the garage tantruming and I thought (for the millioneth time) "wow, our neighbors must think we are nuts!"

We had an ortho check up today - DS1 will be getting his braces on Thursday. Big news in our house...we've been on the ortho radar for years, knowing they will all need them - so the show begins. Stupid ortho guy - yes, I like him...but come on - tells DD and DS2 which teeth are still baby teeth and that they can "wiggle them all day long and just rip those suckers out".....UUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMM...did he hear me say that they both have issues with wanting to pull out teeth that should NOT be coming out? What a freakin stupid thing to say. I tried to save this moment by talking about one tooth at a time and that if they pulled them all out they would not be able to chew anything - how about a blender and some pork chops for dinner? Of course DD is taking it to heart and has been working away all afternoon at a loose tooth (or one she said was loose and at least, it's a baby tooth).

So, if you are driving by my house and hear the soothing voice of the computer lady announcing our personal security levels - pay could bump into one of my kids on the street and you'll want to have an emergency plan!


  1. I love reading your blog! You are such a talented writer! Thanks.

  2. I can so relate to that Broadway sign with the huge arrow along with the spot light. Yup! But I have a 2 yr old here who does genuinely cute things. Then M copies them thinking it will be just as cute coming from a 9 yr old. Ummmm, nope. Not cute.